The Natural Thing
To us Americans, the experience of receiving instruction from the living voice, as well as from the books, of European scholars, is very familiar. At my own University of Harvard, not a winter passes without its harvest, large or small, of lectures from Scottish, English, French, or German representatives of the science or literature of their respective countries whom we have either induced to cross the ocean to address us, or captured on the wing as they were visiting our land. It seems the natural thing for us to listen whilst the Europeans talk. The contrary habit, of talking whilst the Europeans listen, we have not yet acquired; and in him who first makes the adventure it begets a certain sense of apology being due for so presumptuous an act.
William James, 1902 (The Varieties of Religious Experience)
How times change.
September 30th, 2007 - 18:56
In an hour I’m going to church for the first time in about 4 years. What did you say? “Eek, scary!”?
September 30th, 2007 - 19:26
Scary indeed! Hope you survive the experience!
We read the whole book of Joel tonight at one of the churches I go to. (Called the ‘Stoning the Prophets’ series). Then there were reflection stations with poems (Anne Weems and Joy Cowley, mostly) about deserts, repentance, dreams, and spring.
It’s true that I need to learn how to be still and go inward more.
September 30th, 2007 - 23:09
Now who managed to convince you?……….Church was nice. I’m feeling good for once. Just don’t ask what kind of church, I’ll have to find the pamphlet first. Spirit filled. You might have liked it. Somebody mentioned Ps.107 and I thought of you. Today is actually what is called in German “Erntedankfest”=Thanksgiving for the harvest, which is not the same as Thanksgivingday in the States. It corresponds to Sukkot, feast of booths or tabernacles. Someone else talked about a breadbowl missing from the table. Of course I felt addressed personally. Have been missing from some table somewhere, all I need to figure out is which one. Also I think I have changed somewhat. Am less critical than I used to be. Guess as an artist you need to be critical to a certain extent. Anyway, maybe I’ll take a look at Joel now. I think it might not be that much to read.
October 1st, 2007 - 17:43
“Now who managed to convince you?”
About the need for inner quietness? I’ve been convinced of it for several years now. But it’s still hard to do, and I need to do it more. Most of my issues around meditation and centering still revolve around gut-level fear of the process, and of what surfaces during it. One of the reasons why I enjoy a church with a fair bit of liturgy and ritual in it at the moment is that it helps create a little bit of space for inner reflection.
“Today is actually what is called in German “Erntedankfest”=Thanksgiving for the harvest, which is not the same as Thanksgivingday in the States. It corresponds to Sukkot, feast of booths or tabernacles.”
Sounds like fun!
October 1st, 2007 - 18:05
No fun at all, just pumpkins, grapes, apples and things arranged in a pleasing manner on a table.
October 2nd, 2007 - 23:09
“Most of my issues…..” What are you imagining and afraid of surfacing that could not be dealt with or be put under the blood of Jesus? “Fear not, it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.”
October 3rd, 2007 - 21:28
“What are you imagining and afraid of surfacing that could not be dealt with or be put under the blood of Jesus?”
I’m not sure if that was an honest question or a rhetorical one, but I’ll assume the first. Primarily my negative reaction to meditation is a deep fear of psychological torture and mind-control and of losing either my self or my soul to the ungentle will of another. It usually manifests in the form of a stiffness in my muscles, as if I am clenched, unable to either move or escape. In the times when I get past that, I tend to find myself in a realm of deep sorrow; a sense of great absence, weariness and loss.
Often I find myself getting past both of those to a sense of joy, but it is usually a rough ride getting there and often I am physically exhausted from the process.
October 3rd, 2007 - 21:59
It was an honest question, of which I was not sure,if you would want to answer…… “Losing your self or soul to what or who other?” Who is around, when you are alone? You don’t have to answer these questions.
October 3rd, 2007 - 23:25
Whatever you are doing, does not seem the right kind of meditation for you… Anyway no more advice, no more opinions. I think I better love you and leave you now. So long and God bless
October 4th, 2007 - 18:10
Well, part of my deep fear of meditation (even of quiet mindfulness) I think springs directly from my Pentecostal roots: a fear of being ‘taken over by evil spirits’, particularly when ‘magic words’ such as ‘the name of Jesus’ or Bible passages aren’t used. There’s the whole thing of ‘but Eastern religions promote meditation, and they don’t use the name of Jesus, therefore they’re wrong, therefore whatever good might come from the techniques they promote must be a counterfeit, therefore evil. And because it looks so good, it must be such a powerfully deceptive counterfeit that it must be really, really evil.’
The road to getting to the point where I’m not afraid of the quiet of my own mind has been a long one, and I’m still not done.